Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: The Ambulance Service Effect

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: The Ambulance Service Effect: "I seem to be on a theme this week of getting positives out of negatives, although I did once win a small but very precious prize for that gi..."

The Ambulance Service Effect

I seem to be on a theme this week of getting positives out of negatives, although I did once win a small but very precious prize for that given to me by a wonderful Medium called Sharon Harvey.

However...

As you know everything I 'preach' I have practised.  I have also been singularly daft because I've learned all my lessons the hard way when the easy way would have been so much more pleasant - and the hard way probably wore out one Guide!  I'm only kidding of course, but strangely I got a much more determined chap in his place LOL.

When I was 16 I was sent to work against my will in a job chosen for me by my parents, and landed up working in London taking inland telegrams.  I was far too young for shift work that left me sitting alone on the platform at Blackfriars Station in London on cold dark nights waiting for the train home.  Fortunately the platform staff were incredibly kind and one usually sat with me or kept an eye on me, and then made sure that I got into a populated carriage.

Because I couldn't cope with the evening and weekend work and no social life whatsoever I landed up leaving, and my father decided to get me an interview in the local ambulance headquarters.  I duly went for the interview with the instruction not to embarrass him by failing to get the job.  I got it.

I know that this sounds utterly feeble, twice being told what job to go and get by your parents, but actually I was feeble in those days.  I was also 16.  It was also the early 1970s and in our echelon of society you did not rebel.  I knew that to rebel would result in my being politely asked to find myself a flat.

So I got the job and I will never, ever forget the awful feeling I had the first day I walked into the place.  The nearest I can describe it was that it felt like life ending.  To this day it was the most unkind and bitchy place that I ever worked and that's saying something in nearly 40 years.

The people there had decided that I only got the job because of my father and they were going to show me that I couldn't expect any favours, and I was told this within 1/2 an hour of walking through the door.  My father was a very junior officer by the way, not THE boss!

They certainly didn't deliver any favours but they didn't deliver any kindness either.  The strange thing was that due to my post office training I was actually over qualified for the role.  I told my mother how horrible it all was and she told me that I had to beat this, therefore I had to stay there until I got on with everyone.  So I did.

I also got caught in the 1970s recession which meant that there weren't any jobs to move into, and the work we did was so specialised that when I did go for another job no one interviewing me understood what I did for a living.

I wasn't the only one badly treated, all the younger girls got a version of what I got.  For example walking in on a bloated day to have someone call out "look at the size of your stomach - are you pregnant?"

Then I started on the Spiritual pathway by being taught to change my thinking and the way I reacted to things.  Gradually things began to change and I found that I became the person who did all the collections, knew when someone was ill and got the cards, and generally started to take care of the place.

As I changed spiritually so did things around me.  I became more popular with the staff there and I found it easier to have conversations with them.  I laughed off the rudeness until there was no point in being rude any more.  I cheeked one of the senior officers until he threatened to report me and then told him that perhaps I had no respect for him because of the constant innuendo he subjected me to.  That sorted out that problem once and for all.  Oddly we became great friends.

Eventually I can honestly tell you that those people became some of my greatest friends and I remember almost every one of them with a great deal of affection and respect.  This would never have happened if I had remained the person I was brought up to be, because it was the spirituality in me that made it ok for them to like me and vice versa.

There were two absolutely incandescent moments during those years.  The first was about a man that I will call Poppa Dee (we used the phonetic alphabet and that was his call sign).  To say we hated each other with a passion when I first joined the job would be the understatement of the millennium.  I couldn't do a thing right and he scared me witless (I'm being polite here).

Then something happened to him and he went from angry and unpleasant to vulnerable and frightened in a way that was truly heartbreaking.  He realised then that a lot of the problems I had suffered with when I joined had been about a similar vulnerability and fear and we started talking.  A few months later he said something to me along the lines of "I couldn't stand you when you first joined the job but I have to say you've grown into one of the nicest people I have ever known.  You've really grown up well."  I still hold that comment very dear to my heart and my respect for him went through the roof when he said it.

Sadly he died a few months later for reasons none of us understood and actually of nothing, they literally couldn't put anything on his death certificate.  We always felt that he died of a broken heart.  His illness and subsequent passing brought the office team together in a way you would have had to see to believe, the kindness and gentleness emanating from the entire group was awesome and unforgettable.

I'm not putting this down to my spiritual rebirth, far from it, I think the emotional crash of one so close to us really taught us all something important and I know that through him we learnt to value each other far more highly and he taught us something very special with his passing.

The second wonderful thing was the day I left and the love that was shown to me.  I still have the gift they gave me and I would never part with it - tatty though it's getting it stays as a memory of those people, the changes we all made, the darling cat who liked to sleep in it, and my great good fortune in discovering the spiritual path and the special man who put my feet so firmly on it.

All in all a very good memory of spiritual growth and the ability to become an entirely different person.  Something I hope continues to this day and will never stop.


Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and wonderful memories dragged out of the garbage of the past

Deb

The Battle Between Light and Dark

If you read yesterday's blog about the Archangel Metatron you will remember that darkness and light have been mentioned once again.

As I've travelled my Spiritual journey I've met many people who have discussed this issue, and a few who have used the word 'darkness' as a way to try to undermine very ordinary human beings.

No one could live in this world without realising that there is darkness in humanity, but let's be sensible here, there are very few human beings walking this planet who truly have darkness inside them, and who are we to judge who those people might be?

You could say that anger is darkness, or is it just anger?  Are envy and jealousy darkness or emotions generated by fear of not being good enough or fear of success?

You could say that serial killers have darkness in them, or are they damaged in some way and it isn't darkness it is something that went wrong at birth?  If you watch programmes about serial killers you will see that there is something missing in them, and we all know how cold their eyes are when you see the police mugshots taken on arrest.  Are they evil or do they need fixing?

You could ask why people such as Hitler were created, and yet there is a theory that Hitler had a medical condition that affected his state of mind.  So was he darkness or was he insane?

Stalin is another example, he did some truly awful things yet no one who has studied history would ever describe Josef Stalin as sane.

I'm not trying to tell you that the actions of any of the people mentioned above are excusable, they are not.  However, when you compare them to ordinary people walking the street are we really talking about the same thing?

If a person is damaged by their childhood and/or adult life and they don't act honourably is that really darkness?  If a person isn't 100% perfect is that darkness or humanity?  At what level do you judge whether a person is human or has darkness within them?  And who are you to judge?

I honestly believe that it's about time we stopped throwing the word 'darkness' around like a weapon and instead talked about acceptable behaviour.  The darkness that most people say they see in others is formed by the base emotions of jealousy and envy, with a good dash of fear to complete the mix.  It's just people acting out fear and lack of self worth.

On the other hand psychologists do say that which annoys us most about others is where they are most like ourselves.  So before anyone accuses anyone of having darkness within them they should stop and ask why that person is annoying them and why they want to see them as a lesser person.

It's possible that to accuse other people of bad behaviour is to want to take them down a peg or two, perhaps because there is a resentment of who they are, and they've probably worked very hard to become who they are.  

So don't focus on whether others are good people or not.  Don't judge anyone, or at the very least wait until you know them very well before coming to a conclusion.  If you're walking the Spiritual pathway ask yourself if you should even be thinking in those terms, or whether words such as kindness and compassion should guide your path.  After all, if you're Spiritual you should rely on your Guides to protect you in which case you have no need to fear.

It is better by far to concentrate on your own life and your own 'becoming' rather than focus on others.  In doing that it is possible to be so focussed on their lessons that you miss your own.  Doing that will only hurt and hold back one person - you.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights (and light within and without)

Deb

How the Archangel Metatron got into Trouble Over Me!

This is my thoughtful photograph because this blog has taken a lot of thought and consideration.

A while ago and at a place never to be named I did a Demonstration of Mediumship with another Medium.  It wasn't a good day for me and something inside me snapped and said "stop", so I handed over to the other very generous person working with me and decided to go into the moment with the intention of standing back up again shortly.

Apparently from that moment on I wasn't in the room for at least 20 minutes.  The other Medium called me, a friend called me, and they apparently concluded that wherever I was it wasn't "here".  When I finally came back - with no awareness that I'd done anything but watch the other Medium the entire time - I channelled the Archangel Metatron.

This came as somewhat of a shock as I don't work with the Angels.  I have an Angelic Healing Guide but when I asked if he was an Angel he said that he was "from the Angelic Realm and here to provide clean energy".  Apart from that I only had the same knowledge anyone else has who has read the Bible and some of the Koran.

I actually had to ask the audience if anyone knew about him, and got a couple of vague answers.  So I passed the message he gave about why living in the now is very important; then thanked the other Medium who helped me out profusely and that was that!

Strangely I'd bought the Angel Bible by Hazel Raven a few days before with the intention of learning something about Angel work as I'm starting to work with Chrissie Astell.  So when I got home I dug the book out and looked up Metatron.  He looked pretty impressive to say the least!

However (there's always a however isn't there), the next day I was loitering near a crystal stall at this un-named and never to be mentioned place when a group of people came up to me.  One lady asked if I was Deb Hawken and said that she'd heard I was "a pretty good Medium".  Before I could take a breath one of the crystal sellers said "you wouldn't think that if you'd seen her yesterday".

I must admit that I burst out laughing and said something along the lines of "that definitely wasn't one of my better days", and oddly didn't feel offended at all.  Then this same person said "And I didn't feel comfortable with you channelling Metatron yesterday because he's one of the dark Angels, he's attracted to darkness in you and brings it out."

Well I was a bit shocked but not wanting to be rude in front of a crowd of people, nor being sure of my ground at that time I asked my Guide Amos for help.  He just said "Metatron could only bring out darkness if darkness was there, and there is no darkness in Debra."

The person behind the stall was then gently encouraged to move away from me and help someone else with a purchase and I walked off a bit baffled, not just because this person I barely knew had tried to damage the reputation of someone they barely knew, but also because my research of Metatron thus far didn't lead to those conclusions.  However, you always have to listen to what people say and engage in extensive research before you can make a comment.

So first I put Metatron into a famous search engine and everything that came up was good.  Then I put "Metatron dark Angel" in and that turned up nothing.  I then turned to my new book and read up as much as I could about Metatron...here's a precis:

Basically he's the most senior of the Seraphims and the only Angel allowed to look directly at the face of God.  He led the children of Israel to safety out of Egypt.  He and Seraphiel were both once human (Enoch and Elijah respectively) and considered by God to be so spiritual that He lifted them from the earth without having to pass through death and turned them into the two ruling Archangels.  His name means "throne sharer" or "lesser God".  He constitutes pure spirit.  He activates the Soul Star Chakra (above your head not at the crown) and then key information is downloaded into your other Chakras in order to initiate the process of light body activation.  I could go on.

As you can see, he's one of the good guys and there is nothing dark attached to his name, quite the opposite.  He embodies the purity to which we all aspire.

I followed my research so far up with a call to Chrissie Astell.  I wanted to speak to Chrissie because part of her degree covers Angelogy and I wanted to talk to someone that I knew had studied the Angel folk-law and history in depth.  Chrissie confirmed and expanded on my research.

So what was going on here?  What did I learn from this experience?

You might think I'm going to go into a rant about being attacked over Metatron and my work, but I'm not.  My Mediumship has to stand up to scrutiny on each separate occasion I work and I don't let my ego get in the way of my work.  I go out each time as a fresh Medium having a fresh experience, review each demonstration, take the lessons from it and move on.



So what did I learn?  I learned that for the first time in my life I didn't feel insulted, I didn't walk away muttering "I wish I'd said that...done that...told them that...defended myself more...smacked them!"  I walked away quite happy with who I was and totally trusting myself and the other side.

It has always been my belief that the darkness on the other side that human beings perceive doesn't exist, it comes under the heading of "nothing can be that good so I have to look for darkness because I can't trust the light."  I felt that the experience bore that out, because all Metatron did was come through and deliver a very simple but beautiful message to the people in the room - and to me.

I also know that if I see my accuser again it will be fine, I won't need to leap around screaming "How DARE you do that to me!!!!" and other such things because I stepped out of another person's issues and didn't let them affect me.

Most importantly I had a little experience of something I need to know - that the more well known I get the more people I will find who don't automatically adore me.  I can handle that because I don't automatically adore me either.  However, the other side are very good at giving me small tests in safe environments so that I learn to cope with different things, and that was one of them.

I thank Amos for his support, Metatron for his message, the lovely Medium who supported me through that tricky day, and the other side for a taster experience to help me learn to deal with such things.

I also ask you, the reader, to look below the obvious at all times and see the real message, because since that day some amazing things have happened to me that I might have missed if I'd wasted time fuming!


Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Journey to Gavle

The journey to Gavle (pronounced Yarvler) in Sweden started 28 years ago when I was 15 years old.  I was walking down the street on a beautiful spring day feeling fantastic, the weather was beautiful, and all was right with the world; then I took another step.

In that moment I went from a happy, carefree teenager to a terrified one, and I can't tell you why.

For the next 28 years I struggled against acute anxiety, doing things that really scared me and getting through them but never comfortably and certainly never easily.  I'm proud of myself that I never gave in, but that pride didn't negate the struggle I lived through every day, beginning when I woke up in the morning.

I used to say that I was grateful if I managed to stay sane until I went to bed, because I spent so much time in fear of losing my mind.

I had a list of things that scared me that was long and completely unreasonable, and for someone who found it difficult to leave their own home flying was pretty near the top of that list.

Even so I managed to go to New Zealand with my husband and meet his family in 1993 but I haven't flown since, until this weekend.

As many of you will know I am a working Psychic Medium, writer and inspirational speaker, and I work very closely with my Spirit Guide Amos.  You will also know that I have never pretended to be more than human and I have always made it clear that I empathise because I have struggled too.

A few months ago, through a friend, I was invited to go and work in Sweden and I said yes.  I still felt scared but I also knew that it was time that this fear went.  I waited for the panic to appear and it didn't, however I was concerned that it would.

Then Amos asked me why I "made up stories".  I discovered that he was referring to the fact that unreasonable fear causes us to make up scenarios in our minds that aren't true.  They are based purely in a fear-induced over-active imagination.

As is my way when I am provided with wisdom of that kind I listened and I began to consciously work with this idea.  When the day came to get on the aeroplane I waited for the fear and it didn't come.  I did have a small wobble every so often but I walked on to the plane confidently and happily.

I had made up my mind that I would watch the cabin crew and if they remained relaxed then I would too.  So when there was a little bump or rattle, or the alarming sound that turned out to be the wheels retracting into the fuselage, I checked the cabin crew and the faces of more seasoned travellers and if they looked comfortable I chose to allow myself to feel the same way.

I flew into Sweden's Arlanda airport with my nose buried in a book, barely raising my head when we had what my seasoned traveller of a husband called an interesting landing.  I spent the weekend in Gavle enjoying every second of my time without once considering the flight home. And I danced onto the return flight with a new book and no concerns whatsoever.

My journey to Gavle led me not only to meet wonderful people, but also to spend time in a country I have discovered that I can completely relax in.  What it is about the energy of the country and its people I do not know, what I do know is that all the niggles that prey on my mind when I'm at home ceased to exist and I am filled with gratitude for that.

It might have taken me many years hard work and a constant and complete determination never to give in to that fear that was often exhausting but necessary in order for me to overcome it, but it was worth it to get on that plane and visit a place where I can relax and forget myself.

I will always have Gavle, I will always have the wonderful friend I made over there (Pierre Hasselbrandt) and I hope I will get to know better the many lovely people he introduced me to and who supported my work when I was there.

What I won't have is the fear I've battled for 28 years, and I am more than happy to kiss that goodbye once and for all.

For many people they have a long hard road to hoe when it comes to their inner demons, but I'm proof that if you don't give up and if you work with the ideas that others give you, using them as tools for change, you too can go and find your own Gavle.

If you have an Amos it helps too, and my gratitude in being a guided Spiritual worker knows no bounds.  If you don't have an Amos you have me.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights, knowing that if I can overcome my inner demons so can you.

Deb

Spirituality and Speech

I don't often use my blog to rant but this has annoyed me.

At a recent demonstration an attendee came up to a friend of mine and told her that she was very upset because she had been told by someone at a mind, body, soul event that the Medium that night wasn't very good.  

It transpired that, being a decent human being, she had decided to go along anyway to judge for herself rather than listen to gossip.

She was very angry for two reasons, firstly because she said it wasn't true but secondly - and most importantly - because she was investigating the Spiritual field in order to add something positive to her life that she felt was missing.

She said to my friend something along the lines of "What's the point in getting involved if even people in this field can be so unpleasant?"  My friend spoke to her and encouraged her to keep coming, but the story really annoyed me because this lady was right to question her continued involvement.

Even though Spiritual Workers are just ordinary people with the same weaknesses and failings as everyone else we still need to understand the responsibility we take on when we choose to assume the mantle of Spiritual Worker.

When people turn to our field for help and inspiration they do so because they need to have faith in something.  They are looking for hope for the future and something more positive and loving than everyday life seems to offer.  What they don't want, need or deserve is the same old same old in the way of fear induced criticism.  Especially when it comes cloaked in the form of Spirituality.

Spiritual workers don't get sprinkled with fairy dust when they commit to working for the Spirit World, they remain very normal human beings who have good days and bad days.  This is wonderful work but it isn't easy work and like anyone a Spiritual worker can have a bad day at work.  Surely we of all people should understand this and not judge each other? 

So to anyone working in the Spiritual field I say this.  Before you decide to comment negatively about another Spiritual worker think about what image you're presenting to the people who seek our help and don't trample their hopes and dreams into the dust of negativity.  

A person who needs this work and our help to support her in managing her everyday life, and perhaps her grief, was nearly lost and that can never be right. If you need to have a whinge do so to someone in the field who is certain of their own beliefs and won't be damaged by your attitude.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Global Focus - Calling All Light-Workers

You may or may not know that I'm married to a New Zealander; as such the recent earthquakes in Christchurch have been very personal to both of us even though we are deeply fortunate that our family is on the North Island.

However, this morning, along with his birthday greetings, my husband received news that Wellington are being threatened that it's their turn soon.

This is obviously very frightening, although Tony's family are not people to dwell on the negative.

As part of this situation and the recent floods in Australia I can't help but notice how many people post and re-post about these events.  How many send emails with yet another video about the chaos and destruction, damaged lives and bereavement.

Obviously this is understandable because there is an emotional need at these times to know that other people care about what's happening and you're not alone, but as a light-worker this attitude really worries me.

We know that positive thinking leads to positive outcomes and negative thinking takes our lives the other way.  Whilst we know that controlling the weather and seismic activity of a planet is a challenge to say the least, do we have the right to focus on the negative on behalf of the people living in these places.  I think not.

I'm not just talking about the Antipodes either, close as they and their people may feel to us.  I'm talking about Pakistan, China, India, Italy, and all the other places that have suffered natural disasters.

As light-workers I feel we need to do two things and do them constantly.  Firstly, send out healing to the planet earth and use positive visualisations to settle the planet down.  Secondly we must send healing to all people affected by natural disasters and with it send our confidence and certainty that they will find the strength and emotional healing to rebuild their lives.  We can also send a good dose of that strength with our healing.

We can set up points of light in these tragedy-ridden areas to help both those still on this side and those who have lost their lives.  The points of light will draw the souls of those who have passed to the Spirit World, and they will also help the people who walk through them to feel healing, love and strength.  We can keep those points of light topped up with positive healing energy to help.

I'm going to ask for help to create one in Christchurch by the Cathedral.  It would be lovely if you would send your healing and support to make sure that the point of light expands to take in the entire city and surrounding areas.  I'm also going to ask for help to send healing to the fault line in the hope that it will somehow grease the edges and make the two plates glide easily past each other.

Many people won't believe as we believe, many won't see that it can help, but we as light-workers must send positive energy to those people, they have all the negativity they need and we cannot in all conscience do anything that will pull them down further.

In one way we are helpless when such awful things happen, but in another we can be the most powerful because of the healing energy we can ask for and send.  Can we help the planet and prevent these disasters?  Who knows because the planet is always in a state of flux, but we should at least try to do something positive and not add to their woes by sending tears and misery.

From now on let's make a pact that when something happens anywhere in the world we will create a point of light and ask the universe to expand it with healing energy to help those living in that area.


Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb