As you may imagine, as a working Medium I spend a fair amount of my time helping people to come to terms with grief. Part of that work is obviously seeking to bring through their loved one, friend or pet from the Spirit World, but the other part is purely practical - helping them to cope with their feelings.
Having lost a few people (to put it mildly) and a few pets myself I know how weird grief is, and that there are no rules. Losing my grandfather felt nothing like losing my grandmother 30 years later, and nothing like losing my father 12 years after that. All four of my cats left behind a completely unique experience of missing them, and every other pet and person I've lost has been mourned in their own individual way.
This is why people telling other people how to grieve, what to do, what do say, how to behave and when to be 'over it' and 'getting on with life' annoys the heck out of me. I hate it.
Like all the major events of life humans are not trained to deal with grief and no one has a clue how their grief will hit them, what feelings and emotions it will raise, and how they will react at any given second. People think they're doing well and getting over it, then a small thing happens and they're bounced right back to the hurting part of the programme again.
The worst problems occur when the families and friends of a lost loved one get together, because far from drawing people together grief can create barriers that feel insurmountable, particular because there can be a lot of anger around death.
One of the things I wish never to hear said but is said only too often is "it's worse for me because..." or "it's worse for them because...". If someone loses their life partner then of course that someone is experiencing something unique to them, but that doesn't invalidate anyone else's grief or their reaction to that grief.
Sometimes partners who have shared a lifetime of love cope better than friends who have relied on having that person in their life, because the lifetime of love carries that partner through whereas the friend has lost a special and valued confident. It doesn't mean that person a) is hurting more or less than person b), or that they have a right to hurt more or less. There is no sliding scale of grief.
All it means is that individuals mourn individuals in individual ways. Repetition is deliberate!
So if you're going through grief and finding that people are telling you what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to behave and when to be 'over it'. Just gently tell those people that you are way outside your comfort zone and knowledge base and are coping as best you can.
If you find things too difficult then it may be necessary to put some distance between you and them for a while, but don't whatever you do react with anger and finality. Just make yourself unavailable in person, keep in touch by phone, and make excuses to get off the line quickly if the going gets tough.
There are so many different and competing emotions around it's better not to react for at least a year if you can possibly avoid it. Don't lose the people you love and care about just because you can't cope with the way they're grieving.
I hope this helps a bit.
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and years before you need this advice.
Deb xx
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
The Dishwasher, The Cat and the Cottage Pie
This is actually a serious post, but I wanted to add in the amusing part to improve the tone of it.
Those who know me well will know that I very rarely post a negative or sad story because whenever possible I prefer to be an upbeat and positive person in the lives of my family, friends and acquaintances. However, I believe that unpleasant as it is this story needs to be told. Fortunately it will be rescued at the end by a cat.
On Sunday evening I was mentally swishing across the ice with the latest stars of Dancing on Ice when something called me to go out into the hall. As I approached the front door I realised that there were reflections of blue flashing lights everywhere.
As you know this is never a good sign so I opened the front door with some trepidation, only to find that there were 3 fire engines outside my next door neighbours' house and n the drive was a distinctly melted dishwasher.
We went straight out and asked the fire personnel if there was anything that our neighbours required or anything we could do, and they assured us they'd pass on the message. We asked what happened and this is what they told us.
The circuit board on the dishwasher had malfunctioned and caused what could have been a very serious fire. Fortunately our neighbours were indoors at the time and had managed to evacuate the house and call the fire brigade before too much damage had been done. The fireman told us that dishwasher fires are one of their more frequent call outs. I asked if they had seen my neighbour's cat who normally naps in that garage but they said no.
The next day I visited my neighbour to check that all was well. She told me the whole story.
She had been about to dish up their evening meal when she realised that she was short of a plate, so she went out to the dishwasher and took out a plate to wash. Having done so, which as you can imagine took mere moments, she realised that she was also short of a fork and asked her husband to fetch one from the dishwasher. He went out to the garage to do so and called back in immediately that there were flames coming from the dishwasher and she should call the fire brigade and get the children and animals out of the house.
She did so, the fire brigade turned up and extinguished the fire, and all that remained was to find the cat. As you may imagine the family were fairly frantic that he couldn't be found and most concerned that he had run away in fear.
However, it didn't take long to find him. There he was, sitting in the bowl eating the final few mouthfulls of their supper, whiskers dripping with beef and potato. For a normally nervous cat he had sat solidly in their supper dish and applied himself to eating their food with great courage and gusto. Even flames, smoke and 15 fire personnel hadn't persuaded him to leave a burning building.
Fortunately all was well, everyone is ok and the cat didn't pop -well he had eaten the supper of 2 grown adults, two growing teenagers (and you know how much they eat) and a child.
The reason for telling you this story is to pass on the information given to us - never run an electrical appliance such as a dishwasher or washing machine overnight or whilst you're out.
I'm sorry to tell such a disturbing story and I certainly don't want anyone feeling worried, especially as it is so easy to remain safe by being in when these things are working and turning them off when you're out of the house.
I hope you enjoyed the cat part though. One last giggle. Our wonderful neighbours have rallied around providing crockery and such like as required, what did we provide? A spare cat collar because their old one was broken and they need to label their cat as he's one of three extremely similar cats within one small area. You can't get more neighbourly than that!
Deb
Those who know me well will know that I very rarely post a negative or sad story because whenever possible I prefer to be an upbeat and positive person in the lives of my family, friends and acquaintances. However, I believe that unpleasant as it is this story needs to be told. Fortunately it will be rescued at the end by a cat.
On Sunday evening I was mentally swishing across the ice with the latest stars of Dancing on Ice when something called me to go out into the hall. As I approached the front door I realised that there were reflections of blue flashing lights everywhere.
As you know this is never a good sign so I opened the front door with some trepidation, only to find that there were 3 fire engines outside my next door neighbours' house and n the drive was a distinctly melted dishwasher.
We went straight out and asked the fire personnel if there was anything that our neighbours required or anything we could do, and they assured us they'd pass on the message. We asked what happened and this is what they told us.
The circuit board on the dishwasher had malfunctioned and caused what could have been a very serious fire. Fortunately our neighbours were indoors at the time and had managed to evacuate the house and call the fire brigade before too much damage had been done. The fireman told us that dishwasher fires are one of their more frequent call outs. I asked if they had seen my neighbour's cat who normally naps in that garage but they said no.
The next day I visited my neighbour to check that all was well. She told me the whole story.
She had been about to dish up their evening meal when she realised that she was short of a plate, so she went out to the dishwasher and took out a plate to wash. Having done so, which as you can imagine took mere moments, she realised that she was also short of a fork and asked her husband to fetch one from the dishwasher. He went out to the garage to do so and called back in immediately that there were flames coming from the dishwasher and she should call the fire brigade and get the children and animals out of the house.
She did so, the fire brigade turned up and extinguished the fire, and all that remained was to find the cat. As you may imagine the family were fairly frantic that he couldn't be found and most concerned that he had run away in fear.
However, it didn't take long to find him. There he was, sitting in the bowl eating the final few mouthfulls of their supper, whiskers dripping with beef and potato. For a normally nervous cat he had sat solidly in their supper dish and applied himself to eating their food with great courage and gusto. Even flames, smoke and 15 fire personnel hadn't persuaded him to leave a burning building.
Fortunately all was well, everyone is ok and the cat didn't pop -well he had eaten the supper of 2 grown adults, two growing teenagers (and you know how much they eat) and a child.
The reason for telling you this story is to pass on the information given to us - never run an electrical appliance such as a dishwasher or washing machine overnight or whilst you're out.
I'm sorry to tell such a disturbing story and I certainly don't want anyone feeling worried, especially as it is so easy to remain safe by being in when these things are working and turning them off when you're out of the house.
I hope you enjoyed the cat part though. One last giggle. Our wonderful neighbours have rallied around providing crockery and such like as required, what did we provide? A spare cat collar because their old one was broken and they need to label their cat as he's one of three extremely similar cats within one small area. You can't get more neighbourly than that!
Deb
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Out With the Old...In With the New!
Woo hoo it's new year! That means that all the angst and irritations of 2011 are gone and we can all leap into the perfect year, because at the stroke of midnight on 31st December 2011 everything changed...didn't it?
Of course it didn't.
Firstly the person who creates your life is you, so unless you went through some kind of sudden and dramatic metamorphosis on the last bong of Big Ben it is likely that things will continue pretty much as they always have. True, you might get a new job this year, buy a puppy or kitten, move house, give the kids away, or whatever you have planned. However, your life will only change fundamentally if the person you are inside changes.
That's easy then, all sorted and we can get on with 2012. Hold on! Wait a moment!
Let's look at this a little more carefully. Before you rush headlong into change for changes sake, has it occurred to you that you might just be fine as you are? You need to look at that first.
If you decide that actually you are doing pretty all right as a person and your internal world is a fairly happy approaching joyful place then you don't need to undergo a huge personal change in order to have a great 2012. What you do need to do is to take note of the situations in which you find yourself (romance, work, hobbies, fitness, etcetera) and make sure that you're happy in all those places.
We tend to blame ourselves when we aren't happy and feel that in some way we must be wanting because we're not having a blast. Yet sometimes the only problem is that we're in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.
You won't blend with colleagues if you aren't in the right job, company or career. You won't be in a happy relationship if you or they are Miss-ter wrong. You won't have great friends if you insist on spending time with people who are so un-you that you all appear to come from different dimensions! You won't love your home if you don't love where you live or you don't decorate and de-clutter to suit you. You may struggle to feel healthy if you don't make time to keep fit and insist on remaining in stressful situations. I could go on but you get the picture.
The point is that even if some or all of these things are wrong it doesn't mean that YOU are wrong, it only means that you're doing the wrong things.
One key pointer towards sorting these things out is to watch for the signals because there will be signs and portents that show you what isn't working if you know what to look for.
Take me for instance. I love Mediumship, to me it's second only to the people and animals I love. It floats my boat, fills me with joy, gives me peace and a feeling of amazing health. It's the cherry on the icing on the cake of my life. Yet when I launched myself on the world as a full-time working Medium nothing went well.
I was invited back to demonstrate at different places, I did get a lot of referrals for readings, but nothing would quite click with me, but Cricket St. Thomas Hotel has to be the best message of all.
I was working there as a Resident Medium and nearly every day I was there I was rushed off my feet, lunch was a distant dream and I was normally at least an hour late home. I had people coming to find me because their friends had a reading on their last visit and I'd been highly recommended. I was so happy. I was busy, busy, busy doing the work I loved, meeting fantastic new people, getting referrals for telephone readings from all over the country, working in a 4 star hotel where coffee and cake was always on hand, and having a thoroughly amazing time. Then it all stopped.
The hotel group decided to change the way they presented the entertainments brochure to their clients and instead of having an A5 sized insert in the brochure I was moved onto the back page and had only 4 lines. You might think that it was logical that this would affect things, but to be honest the heading on the section was very clear, if people are going to read a brochure they will look at the back page and there was a great deal more on there than me to draw them to the page. The brochure had always been full of exciting and interesting things for the guests to do, and no matter how large your advert if people aren't interested they aren't interested.
However, my work went from flat out to zero inside 24 hours and never picked up again. It was so weird. So after a few weeks I sadly packed up my little room, said goodbye to the staff I'd worked with, and exited stage left with my spotted hanky tied to the end of a stick. Boy was I miffed!!!! (Deliberate use of 4 exclamation marks there!!!!)
I had lost my work completely. I was sad for months and although I tried other things I lacked the motivation and interest to bring them in. By October of 2011 I was basically sitting on my thumb all day discovering that demotivated people don't write well, and wondering what the heck to do next.
Then Nicky Marshall uttered the immortal words "we haven't done much this year, we need to do something." I replied with a joke "Okay, let's pencil 'do something' into our diary in January next year" and to cut a long story short the "Do Something! Tour" was born. Then something very strange happened.
Within weeks we had 5 events set up, we launched in November at the Witches Brew, were in Thornbury at the beginning of December, and by that time we had 2 events set up in Covent Garden, London for next year, plus a charity event and a speaking engagement for another organisation. Not only that a major department store had talked to Nicky about presenting an event for their staff. Absolutely amazing!
This of course means that I'm/we're in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. It didn't happen at New Year or in line with any man-made date. It didn't happen because we needed to change. It happened because the time was right.
So whilst you're embracing resolutions you may have already forgotten or regretted, and thinking that the New Year means you MUST make a new start. Whilst you're worrying that it sounded great to say you'd job hunt the moment the clock clicked over to 00.01 on 1st January and now it doesn't feel like such a good idea, or you're fretting that you may not actually want to break up your relationship, move house, and become a struggling artist. Stop, breathe and relax. You don't have to do anything or everything at once, and you should avoid the trap of thinking that huge change is required when maybe smaller changes would have a better long-term effect. AND you don't have to throw out the old without first considering how much the old is still serving a useful purpose.
New Year can be a fantastic time to create change and a wonderful time to think about refreshing your life, but it can also be a pressure and a trap. You don't have to take leaps of faith without a clue what you're doing just because you said it on New Year's Eve during a drunken party. You have the whole of 2012 to move forward carefully in a considered manner, making one change at a time. Every day is a New Year if you play your cards right.
So my advice is to put the New Year's resolution on the back burner, do a life review, create a vision board in February, and once you've got your head clear as to what you want then go for it!
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights and positive change at the right pace and right time
Deb
Of course it didn't.
Firstly the person who creates your life is you, so unless you went through some kind of sudden and dramatic metamorphosis on the last bong of Big Ben it is likely that things will continue pretty much as they always have. True, you might get a new job this year, buy a puppy or kitten, move house, give the kids away, or whatever you have planned. However, your life will only change fundamentally if the person you are inside changes.
That's easy then, all sorted and we can get on with 2012. Hold on! Wait a moment!
Let's look at this a little more carefully. Before you rush headlong into change for changes sake, has it occurred to you that you might just be fine as you are? You need to look at that first.
If you decide that actually you are doing pretty all right as a person and your internal world is a fairly happy approaching joyful place then you don't need to undergo a huge personal change in order to have a great 2012. What you do need to do is to take note of the situations in which you find yourself (romance, work, hobbies, fitness, etcetera) and make sure that you're happy in all those places.
We tend to blame ourselves when we aren't happy and feel that in some way we must be wanting because we're not having a blast. Yet sometimes the only problem is that we're in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.
You won't blend with colleagues if you aren't in the right job, company or career. You won't be in a happy relationship if you or they are Miss-ter wrong. You won't have great friends if you insist on spending time with people who are so un-you that you all appear to come from different dimensions! You won't love your home if you don't love where you live or you don't decorate and de-clutter to suit you. You may struggle to feel healthy if you don't make time to keep fit and insist on remaining in stressful situations. I could go on but you get the picture.
The point is that even if some or all of these things are wrong it doesn't mean that YOU are wrong, it only means that you're doing the wrong things.
One key pointer towards sorting these things out is to watch for the signals because there will be signs and portents that show you what isn't working if you know what to look for.
Take me for instance. I love Mediumship, to me it's second only to the people and animals I love. It floats my boat, fills me with joy, gives me peace and a feeling of amazing health. It's the cherry on the icing on the cake of my life. Yet when I launched myself on the world as a full-time working Medium nothing went well.
I was invited back to demonstrate at different places, I did get a lot of referrals for readings, but nothing would quite click with me, but Cricket St. Thomas Hotel has to be the best message of all.
I was working there as a Resident Medium and nearly every day I was there I was rushed off my feet, lunch was a distant dream and I was normally at least an hour late home. I had people coming to find me because their friends had a reading on their last visit and I'd been highly recommended. I was so happy. I was busy, busy, busy doing the work I loved, meeting fantastic new people, getting referrals for telephone readings from all over the country, working in a 4 star hotel where coffee and cake was always on hand, and having a thoroughly amazing time. Then it all stopped.
The hotel group decided to change the way they presented the entertainments brochure to their clients and instead of having an A5 sized insert in the brochure I was moved onto the back page and had only 4 lines. You might think that it was logical that this would affect things, but to be honest the heading on the section was very clear, if people are going to read a brochure they will look at the back page and there was a great deal more on there than me to draw them to the page. The brochure had always been full of exciting and interesting things for the guests to do, and no matter how large your advert if people aren't interested they aren't interested.
However, my work went from flat out to zero inside 24 hours and never picked up again. It was so weird. So after a few weeks I sadly packed up my little room, said goodbye to the staff I'd worked with, and exited stage left with my spotted hanky tied to the end of a stick. Boy was I miffed!!!! (Deliberate use of 4 exclamation marks there!!!!)
I had lost my work completely. I was sad for months and although I tried other things I lacked the motivation and interest to bring them in. By October of 2011 I was basically sitting on my thumb all day discovering that demotivated people don't write well, and wondering what the heck to do next.
Then Nicky Marshall uttered the immortal words "we haven't done much this year, we need to do something." I replied with a joke "Okay, let's pencil 'do something' into our diary in January next year" and to cut a long story short the "Do Something! Tour" was born. Then something very strange happened.
Within weeks we had 5 events set up, we launched in November at the Witches Brew, were in Thornbury at the beginning of December, and by that time we had 2 events set up in Covent Garden, London for next year, plus a charity event and a speaking engagement for another organisation. Not only that a major department store had talked to Nicky about presenting an event for their staff. Absolutely amazing!
This of course means that I'm/we're in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. It didn't happen at New Year or in line with any man-made date. It didn't happen because we needed to change. It happened because the time was right.
So whilst you're embracing resolutions you may have already forgotten or regretted, and thinking that the New Year means you MUST make a new start. Whilst you're worrying that it sounded great to say you'd job hunt the moment the clock clicked over to 00.01 on 1st January and now it doesn't feel like such a good idea, or you're fretting that you may not actually want to break up your relationship, move house, and become a struggling artist. Stop, breathe and relax. You don't have to do anything or everything at once, and you should avoid the trap of thinking that huge change is required when maybe smaller changes would have a better long-term effect. AND you don't have to throw out the old without first considering how much the old is still serving a useful purpose.
New Year can be a fantastic time to create change and a wonderful time to think about refreshing your life, but it can also be a pressure and a trap. You don't have to take leaps of faith without a clue what you're doing just because you said it on New Year's Eve during a drunken party. You have the whole of 2012 to move forward carefully in a considered manner, making one change at a time. Every day is a New Year if you play your cards right.
So my advice is to put the New Year's resolution on the back burner, do a life review, create a vision board in February, and once you've got your head clear as to what you want then go for it!
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights and positive change at the right pace and right time
Deb
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Festive Greetings, Thanks, and A Look Back in Joy at 2011
Firstly I'd like to thank everyone who has read and/or supports this blog and my work for their support during 2011. When you work alone knowing that people are enjoying what you do and finding it useful is very special and I appreciate the support.
Secondly, obviously, I'd like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy All Year for 2012. I hope that those not of the Christian persuasion will enjoy the break with their families and loved ones, I find it rather nice to think of other people sharing our traditional holiday and it giving them time with family.
Lastly, let's look back at 2011. Has it been a perfect year? No. Has it been a great year? Yes. I've decided that this year I will only remember the highlights and let the petty irritations take care of themselves. It's a much nicer way to remember a year and it brings only the positive forward with me.
My real-life highlight this year will always be learning to enjoy flying and visiting Sweden, Ireland and America, I have Pierre Hasslebrandt to thank for Sweden and The Six Sense Academy to thank for Ireland. I will never forget that. I have Nicky Marshall to thank for Sedona, and I'll never forget that either. Hopefully next year I will bring in something as wonderful for her.
Travelling really added to my Spiritual development, and it also showed me that people can believe that they all speak the English language but that don't. I learnt through travel that it is possible to string together a meaningful sentence without understanding the meaning. I also learnt in Sweden how many colloquialisms we use and how people might think you're over there working in your own language but actually you're frantically editing every word you say to bring it into proper English. I do not speak 'proper' English LOL. I also learnt that I love the Swedish people and I'm really excited that some of them are coming to work with me in Glastonbury in 2012.
In Ireland I met some of the warmest, kindest, most supportive people I've ever met. I don't think I've ever experienced such a welcome. I also made friends with the wonderful Chrissie Astell and feel like I have a sister for life even though we don't get to talk as much as we would like to. She's a very busy Angel lady.
In both countries I loved working with people so open minded and willing to try whatever you asked them to with a light heart and total enthusiasm. Two races of magical people.
In Sedona with Nicky I learnt what "Wow!" means in regard to scenery. I always think of Britain as stunning (and always will) but Sedona was so unusual there are few words for it. Again I discovered that English and English are not the same language, and again I found a race of warm, caring people and fantastic pancakes!
I experience earth energy vortices for the first time, loved two and was totally and literally knocked backwards by two. Nicky was also inspired to attune me to Reiki III on 11/1111 by the side of the creek at the Cathedral Rock Vortex. It was a spur of the moment decision that just felt right, and I did miss the other girls I did Reiki I and II with, but it was special.
We had a great time in Sedona shopping for the shop and gifts for our loved ones, we also had some quite Spiritual experiences that were personal and special to us. We ate well, saw amazing wildlife, spoke to Native Americans, walked for miles, climbed rocks, laid flat on our back on buttes inside a medicine wheel (well one of us did, the other one maintained a modicum of decorum). We laughed, we giggled, we discovered that one of us is quite capable of an in-depth conversation at 6 am and is therefore slightly better suited to the other one's husband, in fact that goes both ways LOL.
Moreover, I learnt that I could spend a week with Nicky in complete comfort, knowing that my humanity would be accepted and handled with grace and charm. You can't say that about a lot of people.
Spiritually this year has been amazing for me and I really feel that I've changed a great deal. I've let things go that I should have released a long time ago. I don't need to become so involved in everything as I used to. I find it easier to stand back. I worry less (yes I tremble when I write that because a born worrier doesn't let go of their worrying easily LOL). I enjoy life more.
As far as the work goes I've put my Mediumship on the back burner and set up the Do Something! Tour with Nicky Marshall, we're both completely bowled over by the success already and really looking forward to a busy year next year. Even more amazingly my lovely friend, and now Nicky's friend, Barrie John has chosen to be part of the Tour. We're both thrilled. We've spoken to a few people about the Tour but no one has 'got' the concept in the way Barrie did, our beliefs are also close to his heart and he has bought so much with him in the way of enthusiasm and inspiration.
Fitness wise I've done more, and I intend to do even more next year. Every time I lapse in my fitness I realise how much better I feel with a carefully planned fitness programme - there is nothing 'fit' about overdoing it!
The thing I find the most amazing though is how many times I've used words such as amazing and wonderful through this blog. What a joy it is to be able to do so.
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, a wonderful festive season and someone to kiss under the Mistletoe. (Off to buy Mistletoe)
Deb xx
Secondly, obviously, I'd like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy All Year for 2012. I hope that those not of the Christian persuasion will enjoy the break with their families and loved ones, I find it rather nice to think of other people sharing our traditional holiday and it giving them time with family.
Lastly, let's look back at 2011. Has it been a perfect year? No. Has it been a great year? Yes. I've decided that this year I will only remember the highlights and let the petty irritations take care of themselves. It's a much nicer way to remember a year and it brings only the positive forward with me.
My real-life highlight this year will always be learning to enjoy flying and visiting Sweden, Ireland and America, I have Pierre Hasslebrandt to thank for Sweden and The Six Sense Academy to thank for Ireland. I will never forget that. I have Nicky Marshall to thank for Sedona, and I'll never forget that either. Hopefully next year I will bring in something as wonderful for her.
Travelling really added to my Spiritual development, and it also showed me that people can believe that they all speak the English language but that don't. I learnt through travel that it is possible to string together a meaningful sentence without understanding the meaning. I also learnt in Sweden how many colloquialisms we use and how people might think you're over there working in your own language but actually you're frantically editing every word you say to bring it into proper English. I do not speak 'proper' English LOL. I also learnt that I love the Swedish people and I'm really excited that some of them are coming to work with me in Glastonbury in 2012.
In Ireland I met some of the warmest, kindest, most supportive people I've ever met. I don't think I've ever experienced such a welcome. I also made friends with the wonderful Chrissie Astell and feel like I have a sister for life even though we don't get to talk as much as we would like to. She's a very busy Angel lady.
In both countries I loved working with people so open minded and willing to try whatever you asked them to with a light heart and total enthusiasm. Two races of magical people.
In Sedona with Nicky I learnt what "Wow!" means in regard to scenery. I always think of Britain as stunning (and always will) but Sedona was so unusual there are few words for it. Again I discovered that English and English are not the same language, and again I found a race of warm, caring people and fantastic pancakes!
I experience earth energy vortices for the first time, loved two and was totally and literally knocked backwards by two. Nicky was also inspired to attune me to Reiki III on 11/1111 by the side of the creek at the Cathedral Rock Vortex. It was a spur of the moment decision that just felt right, and I did miss the other girls I did Reiki I and II with, but it was special.
We had a great time in Sedona shopping for the shop and gifts for our loved ones, we also had some quite Spiritual experiences that were personal and special to us. We ate well, saw amazing wildlife, spoke to Native Americans, walked for miles, climbed rocks, laid flat on our back on buttes inside a medicine wheel (well one of us did, the other one maintained a modicum of decorum). We laughed, we giggled, we discovered that one of us is quite capable of an in-depth conversation at 6 am and is therefore slightly better suited to the other one's husband, in fact that goes both ways LOL.
Moreover, I learnt that I could spend a week with Nicky in complete comfort, knowing that my humanity would be accepted and handled with grace and charm. You can't say that about a lot of people.
Spiritually this year has been amazing for me and I really feel that I've changed a great deal. I've let things go that I should have released a long time ago. I don't need to become so involved in everything as I used to. I find it easier to stand back. I worry less (yes I tremble when I write that because a born worrier doesn't let go of their worrying easily LOL). I enjoy life more.
As far as the work goes I've put my Mediumship on the back burner and set up the Do Something! Tour with Nicky Marshall, we're both completely bowled over by the success already and really looking forward to a busy year next year. Even more amazingly my lovely friend, and now Nicky's friend, Barrie John has chosen to be part of the Tour. We're both thrilled. We've spoken to a few people about the Tour but no one has 'got' the concept in the way Barrie did, our beliefs are also close to his heart and he has bought so much with him in the way of enthusiasm and inspiration.
Fitness wise I've done more, and I intend to do even more next year. Every time I lapse in my fitness I realise how much better I feel with a carefully planned fitness programme - there is nothing 'fit' about overdoing it!
The thing I find the most amazing though is how many times I've used words such as amazing and wonderful through this blog. What a joy it is to be able to do so.
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, a wonderful festive season and someone to kiss under the Mistletoe. (Off to buy Mistletoe)
Deb xx
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
The "Do Something Tour" Conundrum
On Thursday 8th December at 7.00 pm we have our first ever Do Something! Tour evening in Thornbury, Gloucestershire. As always people want to know what the Do Something! Tour is about, and that answer is quite easy. The Tour is about encouraging people to change their lives by changing the way they think. What isn't so easy is telling you what each event will be about, we just can't do that because you're all different.
There are lists of famous people who have believed in the concept of your thoughts being the one and only thing that create your reality. Sir Winston Churchill, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michaelangelo; to name but a few. If you read the book "The Secret" or buy the DVD you will see many, many names you will recognise who all have two things in common - they believed in the power of their own minds and they were hugely successful.
My personal favourite is the Emperor Marcus Aurelius (1st Century AD) "Your life is what your thoughts make it", and he should know because he was a Roman soldier who became Emperor.
If we accept that these successful people are correct and our lives can be significantly influenced by our thoughts, then it becomes extremely important to take our thoughts into consideration when we're working to change our lives.
Think for a moment. How many people have you known who have made big changes in their lives and somehow landed back in a very similar position, if not almost exactly the same. "How did she/he fall for someone so similar?" you will have asked. Or "you can't POSSIBLY be as miserable in this job?" Shall I go on?
This happens when you don't change your approach to life, when you don't change your beliefs, and when you don't embrace every possibility that's hidden within your unique and complex personality. It's more often than not caused by believing what other people have said about you in the past, not just your parents but everyone you've ever come across. Most annoyingly you will probably have accepted limitations placed on you that were never your beliefs in the first place, and all this happened when you were too young to sift the information, give it due consideration, and then consign it to the Recycle Bin of life.
This is exactly what Nicky and I are out there trying to change - the thoughts you're thinking that are creating your current reality. You see, we don't believe in the limitations of the past. We don't believe that anyone can tell you who or what you are. We even view our weaknesses as strengths because we identify them and then try to put them to good use.
We DO believe that every person we meet is full of untapped potential, not just to create a happy, vibrant, wealthy and peaceful life, but to live the life of their dreams with no limits.
Most importantly we believe that all change can be achieved gently, that there is no need for vast upheaval and truckloads of anger. You won't need to quit your job, sell your children, file for divorce, disown your parents, or dress in pink and live in a Yurt. You can make huge changes in your life, gently, kindly, and at your own pace.
We also KNOW something very important, everyone has intuition and no one should ignore it. Many people we meet would agree, but they have no idea how intuitive they are, how accurate they are, or how to tap into that potential. Nor have they ever explored their inner truth without being afraid that the world will stop and everyone will fall off if they dare to mention their dreams in public.
Imagine if Martin Luther King had never mentioned his dream? Where would India be today if Gandhi had said "who me?", it might have taken years of bloodshed rather than (mainly) non-violent resistance to gain independence for India. As part of our work we encourage you to access and trust your own intuition, and recognise your inner truth, then work towards it at your own pace and in your own way.
These are some of the things we are trying to achieve with the "Do Something Tour". We've only done one event so far but we are told that at least three lives have changed because of it. (Those people are our heroes.)
So what will happen if you come to Thornbury on Thursday, or Zion in Bedminster Down in January, or Covent Garden in March? The truth is we don't know.
We know that there will be talking and questions and inspiration, because we have an enormous portfolio of ideas, exercises, meditations, thoughts, stories and giggles, all of it in our heads, and only useful if we can do the one unique thing that makes us...us. Tune into the room and intuit what is needed on that night.
You see, you are all individuals and each person has specific needs, whether or not they're aware of those needs. Not everything we say will mean something to you personally, but something will strike a note somewhere in your mind and be stored for future reference. Not only that, one of your family or friends might be in trouble at sometime in the future and you'll find that your mind will run a search pattern and up from somewhere will pop something really useful. You might not even remember where you heard it, but that doesn't matter as long as it helps at the time.
So come along and join us for an evening of fun and inspiration, stories and giggles, and yes it's true - we are the ones who bring chocolate with us (and non chocolate items for those who don't eat chocolate).
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights and bucket loads of useful inspiration
Deb
There are lists of famous people who have believed in the concept of your thoughts being the one and only thing that create your reality. Sir Winston Churchill, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michaelangelo; to name but a few. If you read the book "The Secret" or buy the DVD you will see many, many names you will recognise who all have two things in common - they believed in the power of their own minds and they were hugely successful.
My personal favourite is the Emperor Marcus Aurelius (1st Century AD) "Your life is what your thoughts make it", and he should know because he was a Roman soldier who became Emperor.
If we accept that these successful people are correct and our lives can be significantly influenced by our thoughts, then it becomes extremely important to take our thoughts into consideration when we're working to change our lives.
Think for a moment. How many people have you known who have made big changes in their lives and somehow landed back in a very similar position, if not almost exactly the same. "How did she/he fall for someone so similar?" you will have asked. Or "you can't POSSIBLY be as miserable in this job?" Shall I go on?
This happens when you don't change your approach to life, when you don't change your beliefs, and when you don't embrace every possibility that's hidden within your unique and complex personality. It's more often than not caused by believing what other people have said about you in the past, not just your parents but everyone you've ever come across. Most annoyingly you will probably have accepted limitations placed on you that were never your beliefs in the first place, and all this happened when you were too young to sift the information, give it due consideration, and then consign it to the Recycle Bin of life.
This is exactly what Nicky and I are out there trying to change - the thoughts you're thinking that are creating your current reality. You see, we don't believe in the limitations of the past. We don't believe that anyone can tell you who or what you are. We even view our weaknesses as strengths because we identify them and then try to put them to good use.
We DO believe that every person we meet is full of untapped potential, not just to create a happy, vibrant, wealthy and peaceful life, but to live the life of their dreams with no limits.
Most importantly we believe that all change can be achieved gently, that there is no need for vast upheaval and truckloads of anger. You won't need to quit your job, sell your children, file for divorce, disown your parents, or dress in pink and live in a Yurt. You can make huge changes in your life, gently, kindly, and at your own pace.
We also KNOW something very important, everyone has intuition and no one should ignore it. Many people we meet would agree, but they have no idea how intuitive they are, how accurate they are, or how to tap into that potential. Nor have they ever explored their inner truth without being afraid that the world will stop and everyone will fall off if they dare to mention their dreams in public.
Imagine if Martin Luther King had never mentioned his dream? Where would India be today if Gandhi had said "who me?", it might have taken years of bloodshed rather than (mainly) non-violent resistance to gain independence for India. As part of our work we encourage you to access and trust your own intuition, and recognise your inner truth, then work towards it at your own pace and in your own way.
These are some of the things we are trying to achieve with the "Do Something Tour". We've only done one event so far but we are told that at least three lives have changed because of it. (Those people are our heroes.)
So what will happen if you come to Thornbury on Thursday, or Zion in Bedminster Down in January, or Covent Garden in March? The truth is we don't know.
We know that there will be talking and questions and inspiration, because we have an enormous portfolio of ideas, exercises, meditations, thoughts, stories and giggles, all of it in our heads, and only useful if we can do the one unique thing that makes us...us. Tune into the room and intuit what is needed on that night.
You see, you are all individuals and each person has specific needs, whether or not they're aware of those needs. Not everything we say will mean something to you personally, but something will strike a note somewhere in your mind and be stored for future reference. Not only that, one of your family or friends might be in trouble at sometime in the future and you'll find that your mind will run a search pattern and up from somewhere will pop something really useful. You might not even remember where you heard it, but that doesn't matter as long as it helps at the time.
So come along and join us for an evening of fun and inspiration, stories and giggles, and yes it's true - we are the ones who bring chocolate with us (and non chocolate items for those who don't eat chocolate).
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights and bucket loads of useful inspiration
Deb
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
The Do Something! Tour
It started as a joke. Even though Nicky has firmly established and improved her lovely, welcoming coffee shop The Witches Brew (Woman In Total Charge of Herself) in Bristol and I have conquered my fear of flying and taught in Sweden and Ireland this year, both of us were champing at the bit and feeling that we hadn't done enough. There was something that needed to be done and we weren't sure exactly what.
I'm sure many readers know what I'm saying.
We started off joking around trying to cheer each other up in a conversation that went something like:
"I'm fed up I haven't achieved much this year"
(Pause for nice comments about wonderful coffee shop)
"We should do something Deb"
"Ok, I have an idea, let's pencil 'Do Something'" into our diaries for next year.
(Pause for two Guides to pull disapproving faces)
Then it occurred to one of us, why don't we go out on the road and just Do Something! We're always trying to encourage people to get out there and try something, anything, if they want to change their lives. Why didn't we do just that.
So we asked the lovely Louise from Limepark Studios to design us a logo and set up our first event.
As always we tuned into the room when the audience arrived and then started talking, we work together organically very well and whilst one is talking the other one will be picking out important points and noting them on a flip chart, then taking those points forward.
We had a great evening and I can honestly say that it was wonderful to just be 'doing something'. We also realised that in standing on a stage, tuning into the audience and working with them we were really walking out talk. This tour will grow, change, develop and improve every time we set foot in a hall or on a stage, and we have no idea what the end result will be. We are literally just Doing Something! and our audience can see that.
We don't stand up there as world experts on being happy, we stand up there as two people who have learned a lot through our formative years in the Spiritual field, and through our work in the last 17 years or so, and we want to share that with anyone who might need help, inspiration, or just someone who knows how they feel.
It's a wonderful privilege and opportunity, but have I told you exactly what Do Something! is all about? Of course not, because it will be different every time you see us.
Please feel free to share this blog, we appreciate all the help and support we can get at the moment, and we are being blessed with so much support we KNOW this is right.
Our next events are in Thornbury in Bristol, then two more in the Bristol area and Covent Garden in London, and we haven't started planning let.
We're on the wonderful UKPN Radio on Sunday, which should be a riot if the guys are in their usual top form. See our Facebook Page for details. http://www.facebook.com/DebAndNickysDoSomethingTour
It's very exciting and two months ago we couldn't have imagined this, which is why Do Something! is a good idea in every sense of the world.
Look forward to meeting you one day.
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and the inspiration to change your lives
Deb xx
Sunday, 20 November 2011
Sedona - Back Home
Well I'm back here in the UK after an annoying flight from Phoenix. I'm sorry BA, I want to support my home airline but I'm afraid your economy seats are a joke. Nicky and I are normal sized adults and we couldn't find anywhere to put our arms during the flight, nor could we stretch out our legs. I came home cramped up and tired.
That, however, was the only downside to the trip.
What I have found interesting though is the reactions around me to my reaction to Sedona and the holiday. It's as if people expected more for me from the trip than they think I've got, as if they sent me off with expectations that I didn't have.
For me any life changing experience happens gradually and the effects are normally noted quite a while after the experience that generated them.
I also found it odd that when I said that the UK is just as nice as my admittedly small experience of America, the Americans said 'great' and the British thought I was nuts. Which shows you what a downer many people have on what is a truly magnificent country with similar problems to most developed countries in the world.
I understand from Nicky that, like the UK, each area is different. In Sedona I found that the food didn't appear in buckets, meal sizes were normal. They don't seem to eat vegetables in the same way we do and I had to have a Mexican meal and send 2/3rds of it back to get any real vegetables during the trip. The Airport Mesa was, for me, the best restaurant we went to and I understand why Nicky raved about it on her first trip.
I enjoyed the scenery in Sedona, your first sight gives you the kind of 'wow' moment that you never forget. The shopping was interesting as there was a lot of Native American produce, but the shops were as repetitive as anything in the UK, with a few exceptions.
The vortices were incredible but if you're not into earth energy they do take some getting used to...they WILL ground you LOL.
The shape of the rocks are fascinating and you can give them your own names if you can't remember the real ones, Nicky called oen the pregnant lady and I also named a rock but it's best not mentioned here, although it was close to Nicky's expectant mum!
A few people have mentioned that they expected me to be more changed, which is odd when you consider I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and I would hope that changes would at long last be more subtle than they were.
So what's this blog about? It's about not allowing the expectations of others to weigh you down and not feeling that you've failed because other people expected more. It's also about allowing yourself to absorb your changes in your own good time, and not feeling bad if a treatment, a therapy or an experience fails to change you. It just wasn't your experience and you didn't let the 'provider' down by not being changed.
Did I change in Sedona? Oh yes. I've done Reiki III now which was wonderful. I learned to sit on a rock and just relax. I realised that we don't have to have major earth-shifting changes at times that other people have designated 'times to change dramatically' and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you're enjoying the here and now.
I've come home with clarity in my mind that will solve two of my major issues in life, which gives me a real feeling that I'm moving forward and will no longer be stuck in the same rut I've been in for over 4 years. I also understand that I can do the same thing I've been trying to do for all that time in a completely different way, something I may not have seen if I hadn't gone over 8000 miles from home.
I found that in a positive place I noticed negativity far more, especially on facebook, and it was negativity that other people might not even realise was negative. This led to a far deeper lesson about people being who they need to be. We all understand that at a top level but there is a deeper issue going on that needs addressing and I'm working with this in my book and through the Do Something! Tour with Nicky.
More about that later...
It was such a valuable experience going there and I will look back on it always with great affection, after all, I had a holiday!!!! As Mike Dooley would say...
Woo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo! Sound of cheers and clapping!
And thanks to Nicky for suggesting I went, Tony for caring for the cats so I didn't worry (even taking into consideration the mangled toy and missing 8" of elastic!) and Jayne for trying to maintain some kind of order even if the milk got donated to the hall we use for my meetings!
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, recognition of who you are, and change at your own pace
Deb
That, however, was the only downside to the trip.
What I have found interesting though is the reactions around me to my reaction to Sedona and the holiday. It's as if people expected more for me from the trip than they think I've got, as if they sent me off with expectations that I didn't have.
For me any life changing experience happens gradually and the effects are normally noted quite a while after the experience that generated them.
I also found it odd that when I said that the UK is just as nice as my admittedly small experience of America, the Americans said 'great' and the British thought I was nuts. Which shows you what a downer many people have on what is a truly magnificent country with similar problems to most developed countries in the world.
I understand from Nicky that, like the UK, each area is different. In Sedona I found that the food didn't appear in buckets, meal sizes were normal. They don't seem to eat vegetables in the same way we do and I had to have a Mexican meal and send 2/3rds of it back to get any real vegetables during the trip. The Airport Mesa was, for me, the best restaurant we went to and I understand why Nicky raved about it on her first trip.
I enjoyed the scenery in Sedona, your first sight gives you the kind of 'wow' moment that you never forget. The shopping was interesting as there was a lot of Native American produce, but the shops were as repetitive as anything in the UK, with a few exceptions.
The vortices were incredible but if you're not into earth energy they do take some getting used to...they WILL ground you LOL.
The shape of the rocks are fascinating and you can give them your own names if you can't remember the real ones, Nicky called oen the pregnant lady and I also named a rock but it's best not mentioned here, although it was close to Nicky's expectant mum!
A few people have mentioned that they expected me to be more changed, which is odd when you consider I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and I would hope that changes would at long last be more subtle than they were.
So what's this blog about? It's about not allowing the expectations of others to weigh you down and not feeling that you've failed because other people expected more. It's also about allowing yourself to absorb your changes in your own good time, and not feeling bad if a treatment, a therapy or an experience fails to change you. It just wasn't your experience and you didn't let the 'provider' down by not being changed.
Did I change in Sedona? Oh yes. I've done Reiki III now which was wonderful. I learned to sit on a rock and just relax. I realised that we don't have to have major earth-shifting changes at times that other people have designated 'times to change dramatically' and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you're enjoying the here and now.
I've come home with clarity in my mind that will solve two of my major issues in life, which gives me a real feeling that I'm moving forward and will no longer be stuck in the same rut I've been in for over 4 years. I also understand that I can do the same thing I've been trying to do for all that time in a completely different way, something I may not have seen if I hadn't gone over 8000 miles from home.
I found that in a positive place I noticed negativity far more, especially on facebook, and it was negativity that other people might not even realise was negative. This led to a far deeper lesson about people being who they need to be. We all understand that at a top level but there is a deeper issue going on that needs addressing and I'm working with this in my book and through the Do Something! Tour with Nicky.
More about that later...
It was such a valuable experience going there and I will look back on it always with great affection, after all, I had a holiday!!!! As Mike Dooley would say...
Woo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo! Sound of cheers and clapping!
And thanks to Nicky for suggesting I went, Tony for caring for the cats so I didn't worry (even taking into consideration the mangled toy and missing 8" of elastic!) and Jayne for trying to maintain some kind of order even if the milk got donated to the hall we use for my meetings!
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, recognition of who you are, and change at your own pace
Deb
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