Friday, 16 August 2013

Think of Yourself as a Car (Spirituality and Everyday Life Can Mix!)

Think of yourself as a car. 

You have wheels to move, doors you can close to keep you warm and safe. Gears you can change to get you up even the steepest hill. A steering wheel to guide you and breaks to slow you down and stop you. 

You have an on board satnav, or satnag if you don't listen to it, and you can programme a direction into the satnav or you can drive aimlessly, constantly getting lost and disoriented and never finding your desired destination. 

You have a fantastic engine and are a masterpiece of engineering, which if kept happy and relaxed can run for decades and travel all over the world having fun. 

You have a large boot/trunk behind you where you can either store holiday gear or a load of rubbish that ought to be taken to a dump and disposed of. It will slow you down and make even the smallest hills difficult if you don't. 

You can use windscreen wipers when the weather is bad and maintain a clear direction no matter what. Or you can let the windows get dirty and drive blindly hoping not to hit anything, drive off the road or miss your dreams completely. 

You can be a sports car, a four wheeled drive that goes over rocks and up inclines and barely notices, a nippy little city car, or a rusting old heap that its driver doesn't care about. 

You can be all shiny and polished or dull, dusty and rusty You can run like a dream, or you can jerk along firing on only three cylinders, loaded up with cheap fuel unsuitable for your needs. 

You have windows to look out of that can be clear and shiny, or dusty and muddy if you don't keep them clean. Except for a couple of blind spots, they give you all round vision. But you need to remember that you only look backwards when you reverse into a nice space somewhere you want yo
Park for a while. You only look sideways if you want to see life passing you by. Using the windscreen and looking forward is the only way to get to the great places life has to offer. 

So what can cause problems in the running of this car called you?

Listening to back seat drivers, letting your partner in the front seat play with the controls, or letting loads of other people drive your car when they don't care about it the way you do. 

Think of yourself as your absolutely favourite shiny, expensive, desired and admired car in the perfect colour. Add in a few extras such as a 6th gear, four wheeled drive, a small boot/trunk where you can only keep good stuff, off road tyres, sports tyres, all weather tyres, and air conditioning. 

Change up and down gears according to the needs of the car. Know when to brake and when to accelerate, and be in cruise control as often as you can. Change your tyres according to the conditions. Programme your satnav yourself. Have the driving seat coded only to you. Never give anyone you don't trust absolutely the key to your car. Only use the best quality fuel. And put on the aircon as soon as things warm up. 

Point forwards, be observant, choose your first destination, and start moving towards it. 

Deb Hawken
Sleek, sporty, well equipped, much loved, four wheel drive enabled, key well protected. Windows clean, aircon on, music blasting out of the speakers. No interfering passengers. And we're off.

Monday, 12 August 2013

Spirituality for All?

Writers are about words, blogs are about words, and life is about words.  As we know "The pen is mightier than the sword" (Edward Bulwer-Lytton) because words create more wounds in life than weapons ever have, despite the millions who have died at the wrong end of various weapons in various wars.

Wars that happen because never are words more damaging than when they're used to create a cause, add rules to it, and then exclude those who don't conform.  In reality the world is full of one race - humanity - with different skin colours as our own inbuilt sun protection factor, with no religion and no real borders other than the sea (and we can use boats, bridges and planes to get across that).  Everything that we are in this day and age, prejudices, beliefs, religions, has been added on top of the family of humanity by men using words in order to create power bases.

Nowadays many people have stepped outside the structure of religion and either think very little about Spirituality or try to find their own with varying levels of success.  All helped, or not depending on your viewpoint, by a Spiritual field with very little structure that does have rules which change depending on who you're talking to, because those rules have never been written down and are not formal.

Yes, there are organisations who have created a structure and have formalised their Spiritual beliefs into something specific, and the ones I can find seem to be mainly based around the idea of the existence of the Spirit World.  But is that what Spirituality actually is?

I don't know.  Oh...sorry...were you expecting a definitive answer?

You might find it odd that I'm not prepared to tell you exactly what I believe in, why I'm right.  You might be wondering what the point of this blog is?

I believe one thing, that this world should have no barriers and no walls, no specified territories, no excluding religions beliefs, and no prejudices.  But it does.  Even to this day, in this apparently enlightened day-and-age,  people still seem to need to don a uniform of some description, ascribe to a belief, and then declare that's who they are.  Not all people, but the need to belong is still out there.

Because if my beliefs I don't want to describe myself as anything other than a member of the human race.  To me this means that everyone is my sibling, everyone is a part of me, and everyone matters.

I'm well aware that there are people in this world that make you wonder how on earth such evil was ever created and why, and I'm no blinkered do-gooder that can't see that.  However, it doesn't alter the fact that I do not believe that there is any difference between me and any, shall we say normal (as in those with no criminal intentions) person anywhere.

As such I've chosen a word that I do my utmost to use to guide my life, and that is kindness.  Yes I would say that I have Spiritual beliefs, yes I do believe that there is a Spirit World and that's where our loved ones, friends and pets 'retire' to wait for us in a better place.  Yes I do believe in a Source energy that some would call God, and why not.  It's a good word.

What I don't believe is in drawing a line around myself that creates a difference between me and anyone I meet.  When I meet new people I try to find out who they are.  Can we blend?  Can we enjoy being together?  Is there honesty in the relationship.  I don't ask for perfection because I've been looking for 56 years and haven't found it yet - including in the mirror (smile).

I just try to find out if I can be kind to them, they can be kind to me, and we can be there for each other.

So, the message is, that if you're a person seeking a point to your life and you're becoming confused by all the options you're offered to belong to, and all the rules within the options:  such as money and success being bad things and you're not allowed to enjoy your work without being 'unspiritual' even though your company employs many people and allows them to survive in a world that runs on money.  Stop looking outside yourself and start looking within.

Look at when you feel happy and when you don't.  Look at how you want to feel, and how you want others to feel around you.  Those sorts of things.  And anything you attempt to join that doesn't feel right, leave without a backward glance or a smidgen of guilt.

Kindness is a difficult emotion because people feel that others think it equals weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth (more on that on the next blog).  If you remember that kindness must be exhibited towards yourself as well as others, you will become a person that people just enjoy being around, and when that happens you will be able to form links within the family of human-kind wherever you are.

Your kindness will seek out injustice and encourage you to do something about things that you feel are wrong, and you will have all the reason for being here that you could ever wish.

In other words, don't necessarily look for an organisation to create a sense of belonging in you or purpose for your life, look into your heart and at what needs doing.

Deb Hawken
07912 374226,,
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Saturday, 10 August 2013

Deb Hawken's Musings: The Meaning of Life

Deb Hawken's Musings: The Meaning of Life: The Meaning of Life There comes a time in most lives that the meaning of your existence suddenly becomes an issue.  Why you jog along f...

The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of Life

There comes a time in most lives that the meaning of your existence suddenly becomes an issue.  Why you jog along for umpteen years not giving a second thought to why you're here, if you came here for a reason and what that reason might be I do not know.  I just know that the questions "there must be more to life than this?" and/or "what am I supposed to do with this life?" have reared their heads in the lives of a lot of the people I have met and worked with.

There Must be More to Life Than This!

The answer to this conundrum could be said to depend on whether or not you believe in the existence of the life hereafter, but I don't think that belief is actually important.

If you've come to the point that getting up, going to work, having a few breaks, coming home, eating, watching TV and then sleeping isn't enough, you don't have to change your beliefs in order to find something more.

Anyone can find something to do with their life if they will.  You could change your career to something you feel is more worthwhile; you could take your role into a company that does something or provide something that helps people, animals or the planet.  You could take up volunteering in the evenings or at weekends; you could support a charity; you could get into local government.  

Anything that matters to you can be added to your life without having to decide whether or not you believe there is a Spirit World.

Making a Decision

Even if you do believe that we are Spiritual beings originating from and/or returning to a Spirit World you will still need to make a decision as to how you are going to make your life worthwhile and meaningful for you.

A lot of people believe that they came here with a purpose and somehow, magically, they will be shown what they need to know, and you will, but if you're not out there actively looking and trying things you may very well miss the message.

It is true that the Spirit World has given me clear directions no less than half a dozen times whilst I was sitting in my living room, however, that certainly isn't true of everyone I meet and I still need to go out there and make the changes they suggested happen.

I'm also told by my Guide that ultimately it is our life not theirs and if we change our minds and pick a different direction we will not be struck by lightening providing we're doing some good for someone or something somewhere.  

So if you do struggle to intuit your higher purpose remember that the only person you have to be able to face in a mirror is you!  The Spirit World won't rain down hell and damnation because you became a healer and helped a thousand people instead of becoming a Medium and helping a thousand and fifty.  The only person who will do that is you.

Just Do Something!

If you find it hard to get guidance from the Spirit World, or don't believe that guidance exists, just go outside your house and do something, anything.  Meet new people, find new interests, think about the things you see on the news that you would like to do something about.  

Once you begin investigating the possibilities you will find the thing that calls to your heart and you can guarantee that will be the right thing for you to do.

Measure Your Happiness

That's all you need to do.  Everything we attempt will have a degree of frustration or stress at times, but if essentially you are very happy with what you're doing and there are no quiet niggles at the back of your mind that something isn't right, you are doing fine and you don't need to change a thing.  Until your mind starts telling you that you need to tweak your course a little!

Live With or Without Meaning

It's entirely up to you, but in my experience if you want meaning then your life will only have meaning if you give it meaning.


If you're entirely comfortable in your life don't worry about any of this, there are no rules that every human being has to do something with their life.  

There is no rule that says being the parent of offspring isn't a fantastic thing to do and equals a life well lived.  You may have just raised the person who is going to cure cancer or create a lasting world peace.  

So if you feel OK then everything is OK, and it isn't anyone else's job to judge you and your life, only you need to feel completely at peace with who you are and what you do.

If The 'Voice' Speaks You Will Know

You will, I promise, and if it does speak - listen.  No one needs to be bored or feel useless or pointless as long as they have the courage to take a leap of faith, explore a little, meet a few new people, and get their head out of whatever box it's been packaged in during their upbringing.

You have everything within you to do whatever you need to do, so if you feel you want to do more the world is your oyster!


All "Hitch Hikers" will understand that the computer decided that the meaning of life is 42 in the wonderful series "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy", but I don't think the computer knew what it was doing <smile>.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and a life purpose if you need one.

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