Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: The Ambulance Service Effect: "I seem to be on a theme this week of getting positives out of negatives, although I did once win a small but very precious prize for that gi..."
As you know everything I 'preach' I have practised. I have also been singularly daft because I've learned all my lessons the hard way when the easy way would have been so much more pleasant - and the hard way probably wore out one Guide! I'm only kidding of course, but strangely I got a much more determined chap in his place LOL.
When I was 16 I was sent to work against my will in a job chosen for me by my parents, and landed up working in London taking inland telegrams. I was far too young for shift work that left me sitting alone on the platform at Blackfriars Station in London on cold dark nights waiting for the train home. Fortunately the platform staff were incredibly kind and one usually sat with me or kept an eye on me, and then made sure that I got into a populated carriage.
Because I couldn't cope with the evening and weekend work and no social life whatsoever I landed up leaving, and my father decided to get me an interview in the local ambulance headquarters. I duly went for the interview with the instruction not to embarrass him by failing to get the job. I got it.
I know that this sounds utterly feeble, twice being told what job to go and get by your parents, but actually I was feeble in those days. I was also 16. It was also the early 1970s and in our echelon of society you did not rebel. I knew that to rebel would result in my being politely asked to find myself a flat.
So I got the job and I will never, ever forget the awful feeling I had the first day I walked into the place. The nearest I can describe it was that it felt like life ending. To this day it was the most unkind and bitchy place that I ever worked and that's saying something in nearly 40 years.
The people there had decided that I only got the job because of my father and they were going to show me that I couldn't expect any favours, and I was told this within 1/2 an hour of walking through the door. My father was a very junior officer by the way, not THE boss!
They certainly didn't deliver any favours but they didn't deliver any kindness either. The strange thing was that due to my post office training I was actually over qualified for the role. I told my mother how horrible it all was and she told me that I had to beat this, therefore I had to stay there until I got on with everyone. So I did.
I also got caught in the 1970s recession which meant that there weren't any jobs to move into, and the work we did was so specialised that when I did go for another job no one interviewing me understood what I did for a living.
I wasn't the only one badly treated, all the younger girls got a version of what I got. For example walking in on a bloated day to have someone call out "look at the size of your stomach - are you pregnant?"
Then I started on the Spiritual pathway by being taught to change my thinking and the way I reacted to things. Gradually things began to change and I found that I became the person who did all the collections, knew when someone was ill and got the cards, and generally started to take care of the place.
As I changed spiritually so did things around me. I became more popular with the staff there and I found it easier to have conversations with them. I laughed off the rudeness until there was no point in being rude any more. I cheeked one of the senior officers until he threatened to report me and then told him that perhaps I had no respect for him because of the constant innuendo he subjected me to. That sorted out that problem once and for all. Oddly we became great friends.
Eventually I can honestly tell you that those people became some of my greatest friends and I remember almost every one of them with a great deal of affection and respect. This would never have happened if I had remained the person I was brought up to be, because it was the spirituality in me that made it ok for them to like me and vice versa.
There were two absolutely incandescent moments during those years. The first was about a man that I will call Poppa Dee (we used the phonetic alphabet and that was his call sign). To say we hated each other with a passion when I first joined the job would be the understatement of the millennium. I couldn't do a thing right and he scared me witless (I'm being polite here).
Then something happened to him and he went from angry and unpleasant to vulnerable and frightened in a way that was truly heartbreaking. He realised then that a lot of the problems I had suffered with when I joined had been about a similar vulnerability and fear and we started talking. A few months later he said something to me along the lines of "I couldn't stand you when you first joined the job but I have to say you've grown into one of the nicest people I have ever known. You've really grown up well." I still hold that comment very dear to my heart and my respect for him went through the roof when he said it.
Sadly he died a few months later for reasons none of us understood and actually of nothing, they literally couldn't put anything on his death certificate. We always felt that he died of a broken heart. His illness and subsequent passing brought the office team together in a way you would have had to see to believe, the kindness and gentleness emanating from the entire group was awesome and unforgettable.
I'm not putting this down to my spiritual rebirth, far from it, I think the emotional crash of one so close to us really taught us all something important and I know that through him we learnt to value each other far more highly and he taught us something very special with his passing.
The second wonderful thing was the day I left and the love that was shown to me. I still have the gift they gave me and I would never part with it - tatty though it's getting it stays as a memory of those people, the changes we all made, the darling cat who liked to sleep in it, and my great good fortune in discovering the spiritual path and the special man who put my feet so firmly on it.
All in all a very good memory of spiritual growth and the ability to become an entirely different person. Something I hope continues to this day and will never stop.
Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and wonderful memories dragged out of the garbage of the past
Monday, 18 April 2011
As I've travelled my Spiritual journey I've met many people who have discussed this issue, and a few who have used the word 'darkness' as a way to try to undermine very ordinary human beings.
No one could live in this world without realising that there is darkness in humanity, but let's be sensible here, there are very few human beings walking this planet who truly have darkness inside them, and who are we to judge who those people might be?
You could say that anger is darkness, or is it just anger? Are envy and jealousy darkness or emotions generated by fear of not being good enough or fear of success?
You could say that serial killers have darkness in them, or are they damaged in some way and it isn't darkness it is something that went wrong at birth? If you watch programmes about serial killers you will see that there is something missing in them, and we all know how cold their eyes are when you see the police mugshots taken on arrest. Are they evil or do they need fixing?
You could ask why people such as Hitler were created, and yet there is a theory that Hitler had a medical condition that affected his state of mind. So was he darkness or was he insane?
Stalin is another example, he did some truly awful things yet no one who has studied history would ever describe Josef Stalin as sane.
I'm not trying to tell you that the actions of any of the people mentioned above are excusable, they are not. However, when you compare them to ordinary people walking the street are we really talking about the same thing?
If a person is damaged by their childhood and/or adult life and they don't act honourably is that really darkness? If a person isn't 100% perfect is that darkness or humanity? At what level do you judge whether a person is human or has darkness within them? And who are you to judge?
I honestly believe that it's about time we stopped throwing the word 'darkness' around like a weapon and instead talked about acceptable behaviour. The darkness that most people say they see in others is formed by the base emotions of jealousy and envy, with a good dash of fear to complete the mix. It's just people acting out fear and lack of self worth.
On the other hand psychologists do say that which annoys us most about others is where they are most like ourselves. So before anyone accuses anyone of having darkness within them they should stop and ask why that person is annoying them and why they want to see them as a lesser person.
It's possible that to accuse other people of bad behaviour is to want to take them down a peg or two, perhaps because there is a resentment of who they are, and they've probably worked very hard to become who they are.
So don't focus on whether others are good people or not. Don't judge anyone, or at the very least wait until you know them very well before coming to a conclusion. If you're walking the Spiritual pathway ask yourself if you should even be thinking in those terms, or whether words such as kindness and compassion should guide your path. After all, if you're Spiritual you should rely on your Guides to protect you in which case you have no need to fear.
It is better by far to concentrate on your own life and your own 'becoming' rather than focus on others. In doing that it is possible to be so focussed on their lessons that you miss your own. Doing that will only hurt and hold back one person - you.
Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights (and light within and without)
Sunday, 17 April 2011
A while ago and at a place never to be named I did a Demonstration of Mediumship with another Medium. It wasn't a good day for me and something inside me snapped and said "stop", so I handed over to the other very generous person working with me and decided to go into the moment with the intention of standing back up again shortly.
Apparently from that moment on I wasn't in the room for at least 20 minutes. The other Medium called me, a friend called me, and they apparently concluded that wherever I was it wasn't "here". When I finally came back - with no awareness that I'd done anything but watch the other Medium the entire time - I channelled the Archangel Metatron.
This came as somewhat of a shock as I don't work with the Angels. I have an Angelic Healing Guide but when I asked if he was an Angel he said that he was "from the Angelic Realm and here to provide clean energy". Apart from that I only had the same knowledge anyone else has who has read the Bible and some of the Koran.
I actually had to ask the audience if anyone knew about him, and got a couple of vague answers. So I passed the message he gave about why living in the now is very important; then thanked the other Medium who helped me out profusely and that was that!
Strangely I'd bought the Angel Bible by Hazel Raven a few days before with the intention of learning something about Angel work as I'm starting to work with Chrissie Astell. So when I got home I dug the book out and looked up Metatron. He looked pretty impressive to say the least!
However (there's always a however isn't there), the next day I was loitering near a crystal stall at this un-named and never to be mentioned place when a group of people came up to me. One lady asked if I was Deb Hawken and said that she'd heard I was "a pretty good Medium". Before I could take a breath one of the crystal sellers said "you wouldn't think that if you'd seen her yesterday".
I must admit that I burst out laughing and said something along the lines of "that definitely wasn't one of my better days", and oddly didn't feel offended at all. Then this same person said "And I didn't feel comfortable with you channelling Metatron yesterday because he's one of the dark Angels, he's attracted to darkness in you and brings it out."
Well I was a bit shocked but not wanting to be rude in front of a crowd of people, nor being sure of my ground at that time I asked my Guide Amos for help. He just said "Metatron could only bring out darkness if darkness was there, and there is no darkness in Debra."
The person behind the stall was then gently encouraged to move away from me and help someone else with a purchase and I walked off a bit baffled, not just because this person I barely knew had tried to damage the reputation of someone they barely knew, but also because my research of Metatron thus far didn't lead to those conclusions. However, you always have to listen to what people say and engage in extensive research before you can make a comment.
So first I put Metatron into a famous search engine and everything that came up was good. Then I put "Metatron dark Angel" in and that turned up nothing. I then turned to my new book and read up as much as I could about Metatron...here's a precis:
Basically he's the most senior of the Seraphims and the only Angel allowed to look directly at the face of God. He led the children of Israel to safety out of Egypt. He and Seraphiel were both once human (Enoch and Elijah respectively) and considered by God to be so spiritual that He lifted them from the earth without having to pass through death and turned them into the two ruling Archangels. His name means "throne sharer" or "lesser God". He constitutes pure spirit. He activates the Soul Star Chakra (above your head not at the crown) and then key information is downloaded into your other Chakras in order to initiate the process of light body activation. I could go on.
As you can see, he's one of the good guys and there is nothing dark attached to his name, quite the opposite. He embodies the purity to which we all aspire.
I followed my research so far up with a call to Chrissie Astell. I wanted to speak to Chrissie because part of her degree covers Angelogy and I wanted to talk to someone that I knew had studied the Angel folk-law and history in depth. Chrissie confirmed and expanded on my research.
So what was going on here? What did I learn from this experience?
You might think I'm going to go into a rant about being attacked over Metatron and my work, but I'm not. My Mediumship has to stand up to scrutiny on each separate occasion I work and I don't let my ego get in the way of my work. I go out each time as a fresh Medium having a fresh experience, review each demonstration, take the lessons from it and move on.
So what did I learn? I learned that for the first time in my life I didn't feel insulted, I didn't walk away muttering "I wish I'd said that...done that...told them that...defended myself more...smacked them!" I walked away quite happy with who I was and totally trusting myself and the other side.
It has always been my belief that the darkness on the other side that human beings perceive doesn't exist, it comes under the heading of "nothing can be that good so I have to look for darkness because I can't trust the light." I felt that the experience bore that out, because all Metatron did was come through and deliver a very simple but beautiful message to the people in the room - and to me.
I also know that if I see my accuser again it will be fine, I won't need to leap around screaming "How DARE you do that to me!!!!" and other such things because I stepped out of another person's issues and didn't let them affect me.
Most importantly I had a little experience of something I need to know - that the more well known I get the more people I will find who don't automatically adore me. I can handle that because I don't automatically adore me either. However, the other side are very good at giving me small tests in safe environments so that I learn to cope with different things, and that was one of them.
I thank Amos for his support, Metatron for his message, the lovely Medium who supported me through that tricky day, and the other side for a taster experience to help me learn to deal with such things.
I also ask you, the reader, to look below the obvious at all times and see the real message, because since that day some amazing things have happened to me that I might have missed if I'd wasted time fuming!
Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights