Think about scientists. They want to learn something or building something so they formulate a question and then they seek ways to find answers that prove or disprove their theories, together with research and testing this is how they achieve their goals.
Do you think that scientists sit down and say "okay guys, what's the most complicated and difficult way we can go about this?" I wouldn't think so. They didn't go into the field to take 40 years to find something out, or worse still to fail. They went into the world full of curiosity and seeking answers.
As yourself, would a scientific researcher be upset if, on their first day at work, they discovered that the cure for all cancers was a teaspoon of salt a day? Or do you think NASA want a spacecraft that can be operated and repaired easily when it's in space, or one so complex they can never work it out but they look good trying?
So let's assume that I'm right and scientists don't set out to complicate matters. They want easy answers to every question and easy solutions to every problem; the easiest workable solutions they can find. So let's think how we can take a more straightforward and simple approach to the issues that bug us:
- Start by working out what the problem is in the simplest possible terms. Remove all complication. Get to the black and white.
- Answer the question "what is the simplest answer to this problem?" Remember that simple may not equal easy to achieve, but the simplest and easiest answer will of course make it simpler and easier to deal with.
- Test your solution.
- If it works job done, if not...
- Seek another simple and easy solution...and repeat.
You might notice that I'm breaking all writing rules here by repeating the words simple and easy at every possible opportunity. I'm doing it deliberately in order to break down the social idea that life is complex and problems are so difficult that solving them is a terrible worry.
I want to destroy the idea that life has to be difficult, that happiness is hard to find, that there are always worries, that no one can expect to be happy. These ideas are untrue, plus they complicate life and confuse our decision making processes. Have you ever had someone say "it's not that simple" in reply to an idea you've had? Why can't things be simple, in fact very often life is extraordinarily simple.
I want to destroy the idea that life has to be difficult, that happiness is hard to find, that there are always worries, that no one can expect to be happy. These ideas are untrue, plus they complicate life and confuse our decision making processes. Have you ever had someone say "it's not that simple" in reply to an idea you've had? Why can't things be simple, in fact very often life is extraordinarily simple.
One of the biggies is obviously trying to get out of a bad relationship. When asked whether they love their partners people will often reply "yes but not in that way, more as a friend". Yet they know that if they're having marriage/partnership problems that wasn't the question that was asked.
They know what the question meant but fear of the next step forces them to politely soften the answer in such a way that it makes the problem more complex. "Well I do love them in a way so maybe I should stay?"
They know what the question meant but fear of the next step forces them to politely soften the answer in such a way that it makes the problem more complex. "Well I do love them in a way so maybe I should stay?"
This is why getting the question clear in your mind is absolutely vital, and then answering it in the simplest and most straightforward way is critical.
- Find the real question
- Answer the real question
- Then stop!
You will probably feel that you now have to end your relationship immediately or sooner, but you don't. Once you know the truth you can spend all the time you need working towards the way to achieve the solution.
I knew for 6 years that I would leave my first husband but I had to put some emotional difficulties to bed, some practicalities in place, and prepare myself mentally for taking that step. I took all the time I needed and don't regret that, but oh the peace of mind and inner strength I felt simply by admitting the truth to myself. I was no longer trapped, I was moving on and there was no doubt in my mind that I was leaving him, the decision was made.
I knew for 6 years that I would leave my first husband but I had to put some emotional difficulties to bed, some practicalities in place, and prepare myself mentally for taking that step. I took all the time I needed and don't regret that, but oh the peace of mind and inner strength I felt simply by admitting the truth to myself. I was no longer trapped, I was moving on and there was no doubt in my mind that I was leaving him, the decision was made.
There is nothing wrong with deciding not to leave your other half until your last child is 16, but you will be so much more peaceful inside knowing that this is going to happen. It also gives you time to be absolutely certain the decision is right before you take that final step. The key point is always to tell yourself the truth but never believe that you have to share that truth with anyone else.
All complexity does it prevent you from solving problems, and a lot of that comes from fear and doubts over your ability to create a great future. All you have to do is remember to learn from your mistakes and use that knowledge in a positive way to prevent you repeating them.
All complexity does it prevent you from solving problems, and a lot of that comes from fear and doubts over your ability to create a great future. All you have to do is remember to learn from your mistakes and use that knowledge in a positive way to prevent you repeating them.
So there we are - a simple idea for simplifying your life and putting a stop to issues before they become problems.
Who needs more complexity?
Deb Hawken - Writer, Life Coach, Speaker, Medium
Author of "Who am I, Where am I, What is this Place?"
Available from Amazon in softback or Kindle version,
Barnes & Noble, or Google Play Books.
www.debhawken.com
Email deb@debhawken.com
Who needs more complexity?
Deb Hawken - Writer, Life Coach, Speaker, Medium
Author of "Who am I, Where am I, What is this Place?"
Available from Amazon in softback or Kindle version,
Barnes & Noble, or Google Play Books.
www.debhawken.com
Email deb@debhawken.com
