Co-Editor of Silent Voices Online Magazine
Latest article:  Tony Stockwell
www.silentvoices.org.uk

Today I fluffed my pillows on the bed. 

I got up as usual, whipped off my functional cold-weather snuggling gear and...before I tucked it under my top pillow...I picked up both pillows and fluffed them.

I doubt that you’re impressed.  I doubt that you’re even surprised.  The only mildly surprising things about all this are:

a)     Doesn’t everyone?

b)    Why am I telling you this?

I’m telling you because it’s through the simplest of our actions that we reveal ourselves and our thinking, thus demonstrating how we’re holding ourselves back.

For many years I’ve had trouble sleeping.  My pillows have been uncomfortable and I can’t get my head and neck in a position conducive to sleep.  I toss and turn, I thump the pillows, I curse them under my breath, and eventually I fall into a fitful sleep. They’re the kind of pillows that require fluffing to bring them back into shape and I don’t fluff them.  Today I did.

So what have I learned from this that I want to convey to you?

I’ve learned that I am now ready to accept a decent night’s sleep and that I will take appropriate action to help create that sleep.

It’s a simple thing, almost a nothing thing.  Yet everything we do tells us where we really are in life and how we really feel.  Everything we don’t do tells us something about our lives.  Everything we say tells us the truth.  The problem is we don’t want to hear and see.

Let’s think about a few examples.  Being too tired for sex obviously tells you something.  What about going to the supermarkets and buying pre-prepared food, what does that tell you about your willingness to look after yourself properly?  What does it tell you about nurturing those you love?

You’ll probably say you’re too busy, yet if you watch some of the TV chefs you can prepare a fantastic meal made with natural ingredients and have it on the table inside 20 minutes from beginning to end.

Are you constantly late for work?  Ever considered that you don’t want to be there?

Do you say yes to things and then find excuses not to do them?  Do you arrange to go out and find that you develop a headache or some such thing half an hour before and you’re frequently cancelling things?  Anything you set up and cancel tells you what you really want.

Do you say you’re going home or that you’re going “back” or to “Acacia Drive”?  Do you hate your body and reach for the chocolate, or use the car to go to the corner?

I could go on and on, but the message is watch what you do, listen to what you say, and learn to understand and accept what you really feel. 

You might feel more comfortable going along pretending that all is ok, but I’ll guarantee you that other people can see and hear it, so it might be a good idea to bite the bullet and sort things out.  Worst case scenario – you’ll be happier.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights (very appropriate)

Deb