Friday, 4 February 2011

Ego Boost

I know that in Spiritual circles the word ego isn't a pretty one, in fact it's been known to make grown adults spend hours telling you how they don't have an ego and wouldn't know what one was if they saw one.  The trouble is that most people don't know what the ego actually is.

So what is it?  I'm glad you asked!  The word means "I" in Greek, and the ego is something that sits between the Super Ego (our conscience) and the id (the pleasure principal which helps us to get our basic needs met).

The id develops first in our babyhood and it allows us to get the necessary sustenance to survive.  The Super Ego develops as we are taught right from wrong and becomes the parent in our own head.

The ego is the sense of self and also the sense that others have a self, it is the ego part of us that understands that fulfilling only our own needs is selfish.  It is the ego's job to sit between the needs of the id whilst taking reality into consideration - you could say it ensures that we are fed and watered but prevents us from keeping all the food for ourselves.

As you can see, the ego gets a very bad press because it is regularly and wrongly defined as showing off.

Yet how do we define that state of needing to know best about everything that matters if it isn't ego?  You define it as fear.  Anyone who has to spend ages telling you how wonderful they are or how wonderful you aren't is suffering from fear.

Their confidence is threatened because they haven't developed the balanced sense of self that allows others 'to be' and doesn't feel that if one person is good at something that means they cannot also be good at whatever it is.  That's what causes the fear mode of becoming the world expert on everything.

Nowhere will you experience that fear more than in the Spiritual field.  There are so many Spiritual workers out there doubting themselves that, through fear, they land up judging others and finding them wanting.  Perhaps this is because we can't stick a degree or professional qualification under anyone's nose and yell "there, it's official, I do know what I'm doing."

Our lack of officially recognised training isolates us and leaves us in a place where we have to trust ourselves more completely than in any other field of life.  That can be scary because most people in life doubt themselves.

Imagine if you will having to stand up for something so completely, with no backing and no proof, the only thing you have is your own honest and genuine belief.  That's not much of a stick to defend yourself with is it?  Some people just can't deal with it.

I've known many Spiritual workers brought to their knees because of the fear of having an ego.  I've also known many attacked for their work and almost disabled by the unpleasantness of the situation.  If you think about that for a moment you will understand that any Spiritual worker needs their ego (without it you'd have no sensitivity to your clients) and their sense of self.  They also need to be able to judge realistically whether they are or are not doing a good job.

It's utterly ridiculous and serves no useful purpose to going round being over-humble and compromising your ability to do your work just so that no one mentions the word 'ego' in your presence.  Your clients deserve the best and they deserve to know that you know that you can deliver that - realistically.  Remember, the ego is about realism.  I've never heard my Guide tell me he's brilliant or useless, he just gets on with it.

Knowing quietly within yourself that you are confident in what you do is realism, and therefore ego.  Telling everyone, everywhere how much better you are than everyone else who's ever been born and how much more you know is just plain showing off.

So if you're not doing that, if you're not tearing others down in order to bolster yourself up your ego is in perfect working order.

Yet what do you do when your work takes a huge knock?  If you are a true Spiritual worker you pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again.

If you can't do that then you do have a problem and it's not ego.  It means you're in the Spiritual field for the wrong reasons and you're not working simply for the love of Spirit.

I spoke to someone the other day who, to me, epitomises the term 'Spiritual Worker'.  I'm not going to reveal who that person is but I can tell you that on the scale of hard knocks that person has experienced a real doozy.  Yet they're out there still trying to improve on their work and offer more to the people they meet.  Not only that, they have the courage to acknowledge the hammering they've taken, accept it and move on.

The person is gentle and genuine.  Yet obviously they do have a good sense of who they are and what they can do - goodness knows they've had enough evidence via their own two eyes to know that - and it's that sense of reality (ego) that is keeping them going and driving them to constantly improve .

So, remember that your ego is there to give you the sense of 'I' that you're entitled to have, and also to remind you that other people are 'I's' too.

I do work simply for the love of Spirit (over there and over here),

If you can do all these things, if you can take the knocks and the hard knocks without ever thinking about giving up then you are a Spiritual Worker, and your ego is doing it's job brilliantly, as are you!

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights



  1. Thankyou so much for that, Marvellously true. Wow this sure does bring forth the true nature of this kind of work. Brilliant. X

  2. Thank you Sherry. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply but I've had a few wonderful new things cross the horizon that needed instant action! Best wishes, Deb